Dreams of a Roman
by I Am Not Amused
Summary: "How can he be real? He was never real!" ... This is something Rory Williams says in reality that he knows to actually be a lie.


"How can he be real? He was never real!"

This is something Rory Williams says in reality that he knows to actually be a lie.

-ooOOoo-

He has a dream again, Rory does, of the day he meets the Doctor. The whole, 'You, man and dog, why' bit. The whole 'Not him, the good-looking one' bit. The whole 'Kind of boyfriend' bit.

Simply insulting; even his sub-conscious has an inferiority complex.

He dreams of the way Amy cries after the Doctor leaves. Again.

He keeps hearing her say "He said five minutes," over and over again and sometimes it's through tears and sometimes she's a little girl and sometimes they're sitting there on the TARDIS together and she's looking over at the Doctor sadly and saying it almost to herself.

He dreams about a lot of times that hurt her and usually he dreams about how to make them better.

Some of them he can't quite figure out, though.

-ooOOoo-

Rory is sitting there, in the main console room. Amy's not there, is somewhere though he's not entirely sure exactly where. Doesn't matter. He's there, and the Doctor is buzzing around the console, muttering in that maddening manner he has.

"Why didn't you come back in five minutes?" Rory asks.

The Doctor continues fiddling with a variety of devices on the console. "Sorry, what?" he asks, not even looking at Rory.

"I asked you why didn't you come back in five minutes." Rory is agigated now and he's standing, but he's still a little bit scared.

The Doctor just blinks, uncomprehending, back.

"I'm bloody well talking about Amy!"

"All those years ago, you mean? Well, I'd loved to. Meant to, in fact. She was still Amelia, then. Great name. Fairy tale name. Amy's rubbish in comparison. No offense. To you or Amy. TARDIS was still phasing, though. Tricky thing, after a regeneration. I ever tell you about the time-"

Rory, he can't handle it. "You're a Time Lord, for Christ's sake! When you figured it out, why didn't you just go back to five minutes from then!"

"Well, couldn't let Prisoner Zero-"

"Why not after that, then!"

He's right up to the Doctor now, right in his annoyingly sunny disposition.

"Well, I couldn't because I hadn't, could I? Amy said she hadn't seen me in twelve years, meaning I couldn't go back and get her five minutes later because I hadn't. You see?"

Rory doesn't see. Mostly that sentence just makes his brain hurt.

"You should have done it anyway," Rory says and he's more tired than mad now, the anger draining out of him.

"Do you really wish I had done that, Rory?" And now the Doctor's expression has changed too, into something almost coy, almost gloating. It is singularly disturbing, and Rory takes a step back.

"Wha- what do you mean?"

The Doctor takes a step forward and he suddenly seems a bit shorter. "I mean, Rory, you know that if I had done that - if I had kept that promise - she'd be totally and unabashedly in love with me."

He takes another step forward, the Doctor does, and suddenly he's wearing these round glasses and has less hair. "There'd have been no room for the little, ignorable boy from Leadworth in her heart, or even in her memory. Who knows if you'd have ever seen her grown?"

And with a third step, the transformation is complete and the Time Lord has turned into the Dream Lord completely. "Because she'd have been here the whole time. And you'd have a pale thought of a pale, Scottish girl in your head and that's it."

And then the Dream Lord disappears.

These are things that Rory Williams says in a dream that are actually true.

-ooOOoo-

"Doctor..."

"Rory! Good, you're here. Always could use an extra set of hands. Not literally, though! Been to that planet, people were_ very_ grabby. Seems like it's the same greed everywhere, doesn't it? Only reason they had more hands was so they could grab more stuff to fill their pockets with. Had the same amount of pockets, though. Failure of engineering, I suppose. Anyway! Where was I? Ah, yes. Twist that knob over there, will you?"

"Doctor..."

"Time is wasting, Rory. And I don't say that very often so you know I'm serious. Am I serious? Suppose I must be. Anyway. Places to go! Knob, please. Wait! No! Don't twist the knob! You want to give it a gentle tug. Sorry, old girl. Thanks, Rory. Where's Amy, by the way?"

See, this is how their conversations actually go.

-ooOOoo-

This time, at least, he knows it's a dream. Mostly because he knows Amy doesn't have blue hair.

"Is it a problem that I find him an attractive bloke?" she asks.

"Yes! Firstly because I'm supposed to be the only bloke you find attractive. Secondly, because he's not actually a bloke!"

"Oh, come off it." Just like reality, though, she doesn't much take him seriously. "All the parts seem to be there."

"Oh God. I can't unhear that."

"And it's not like I'm going to _do_ anything."

"You tried to kiss him. On our _wedding day_!"

"He's a good kisser!"

"And now I can't unhear that, either."

Then he considers what she says for longer than a second.

"Wait, have you kissed him more than once?"

Blue-haired Amy looks distinctly unimpressed with that question. Still, he can't keep the next one in his dream-mouth.

"Have you_ slept with him_?"

"Rory, for Christ's sake. _No_. No and no and no and no and no. He's not space-Gandalf, but he's also not the kind of bloke who goes around sleeping with other people's wives or fiances."

"Oh, well..." Wait a minute. "Wait. Are you saying that if he was that you _would_ have slept with him?"

Now blue-haired Amy looks entirely too pleased with herself.

"Maybe," she says coyly. "All the parts _do_ seem to be there. Still, got to say, Last Centurian. I do prefer your parts."

Oh. Okay, then. So this is going to be a sexy dream. With a prelude about how she might have been willing to sleep with the Doctor.

Rory thanks a vast array of dieties when he immediately wakes up from that thought.

-ooOOoo-

Rory wipes his eyes of sleep as he stumbles toward what he thinks is the TARDIS' kitchen, but could just as well be the anti-gravity room, the upside-down chandelier room, or the inside-out bathroom. He gropes around for a light for a few moments, then remembers the TARDIS doesn't have lightswitches, and stumbles in. To Rory's chagrin, it's the console room.

He turns around, and the Doctor's immediately behind him, and the proximity causes Rory to jump back a bit.

"Hello, Rory!" the Doctor says amiably before working around the Last Centurian and entering into the control room.

"What... how..."

"Couldn't sleep, bit hungry, popped out for a bit of a snack. Fish fingers and custard... you?"

The mention of fish fingers and custard is as attached to Amy as anything, and Rory doesn't like it one bit. "You... you can't just pretend like she didn't happen, the older Amy."

The Doctor, messing about with the controls of the TARDIS, doesn't look up as he replies. "I can, actually, as she didn't."

"You can say that all you want, but I still remember her."

"No you don't. You have a vague inkling that an older Amy existed, but you can't tell me what she said or what she wore or even the colors of the walls of the place where she lived. Not anymore."

Rory, he bristles at this. "Don't pretend to know my head, Doctor. I lived for two thousand years, I'm ol-"

The Doctor interrupts, his voice even more sharp. "No, you aren't. It's the same thing. On this timeline, that never happened, and at best you might remember the texture of the metal armor you wore for all those years, but don't insult my nine hundred plus years and say you're older than me, Rory."

All the justifying, it just feels wrong. "She was erased from time! You erased her! Do you have any idea how she must have felt?"

Now the Doctor is facing him, a look of rage on his face. "_Yes_," he says with the kind of venom reserved for cobras, and Rory is startled even in his anger. "I did it to myself, if you recall, to _save your lives_ when the entire universe had ended. I erased myself and it felt like every atom in my body simultaneously imploding and exploding while I relived every horrible memory of my life in reverse. So if anyone knows _precisely_ what she went through, _it's me_."

Rory's cowed, but still petulant. "I was erased from time, too," he argues.

"And you were already dead when it happened, so don't compare the two."

From nowhere, the Doctor pulls out a mug of water and begins drinking. "Bit thirsty, after all that shouting," he says as he smiles. He takes a congenial sip, then pours out the mug onto the floor of the TARDIS. Which would seem silly, except the water doesn't stop falling from the mug. The water comes. And keeps coming. And keeps coming. It floods the floor in seconds, regardless of how impossible that is, and the water level begins rising.

"How-?" Rory stutters.

"Bigger on the inside," The Doctor says, his voice haunting. "Bigger on the inside. Bigger on the inside. Bigger on the inside."

The Doctor keeps repeating it, "Bigger on the inside," like a mantra. And the water level keeps rising. Rory wants to do something, wants to call and warn Amy, wants to stop the Doctor from drowning them all. Wants to be the hero for once. But he can't move. He's a nurse.

When the water reaches his mouth, Rory wakes up in his bed, dry and gasping.

-ooOOoo-

Rory is awake. He knows this. He pinches himself at least fifteen times, throws the bedside glass of water on his own face and even slams his head on the door frame of his and Amy's room. Then he steels himself, and heads out to confront the Doctor. About Future Amy. About possibly loving her. About always putting her in danger. About everything.

When he opens the door, he realizes he's in the house the Doctor got from them. The house he set them down in and then left them to keep them safe. The house and car and girl the Doctor left him. The perfect life Rory had always wanted, and the Doctor had given.

Rory dreamed of this.

And now he has it.

Rory goes back to sleep. And he dreams in blue.

-ooOOoo-

"How can he be dead? He was never dead!"

This is something Rory Williams says in a dream that he knows to actually be a lie.


End file.
